AIM

AIM! I have come to appreciate this little three letter word. As I wiped boy urine off the toilet again, I considered how much I appreciate this word. It is an action that requires skill no matter how it's used. Whether it is used for hitting Cheerios in the toilet, a vein hiding under the dermis or a poorly lit target down range, it takes skill. 


Last night I awaited Matt's call. We have talked less since March 5 than the whole time he was in the Middle East. He's been so busy testing for this new company that he has hardly had time to pick up the cellphone. He spent his first two days being taught then presenting himself. Since then he has been qualifying on weapons. He qualified on the M-4 and the Glock 9mm and yesterday shot the two machine guns. Sparing me the shame of not being able to remember names he called them the "little machine gun" and the "big machine gun." 


Here's how our conversation went last night: "How are you?" Fine. "Wanna hear the good or bad news first?" Bad (I am a hit-me-with-the garbage-first girl so I can enjoy the good stuff later). "17 people were disqualified today." And which were you? "I made it! I am one of 7 people left. Dan didn't make it. (My tears began. I love Dan. He's rough around the edges which makes him endearing. He has been a true friend to Matt) "Out of all the Special Forces guys that came only one is left. They are calling me Sniper and Sharpshooter." What did you do? "I was the last guy to go. I passed the little machine gun on the first round. Then I moved onto the big one. This is the one that did almost everyone in. I missed it by 2 on the first round then by 6 on the second try. Since it was dark by this time and the target was only lit by headlights, I had to find a marker point. The targets are like tombstones. They march in by numbers to the middle. I decided to use those as my markers and march it in instead of going after the middle. When it was scored up, I made it by 2. I had EVERYONE watching me. End of the day, it's dark, my only light is some headlights. I couldn't believe I did it." I can. You are meant to do this. "You can't believe how thick the tension was. Everyone was very tense. My roommate didn't make it. He is pi$%@d. He is swearing and throwing things." Matt, I have not had any stress about today. As much as it makes me crazy that you are a monotone emotion guy, it is your gift. I have always said if there is ever a mass trauma/casualty, I want you next to me. It is your gift. You are blessed. 

I cried as we talked. I can only pray that I am able to show my gratitude by keeping myself focused with an eye upward. I am so grateful to be a wife and mother. I am grateful I was born at this time. It's not easy but it sure is gratifying. 


A couple of days ago when the tsunami hit Japan, Spencer said quite comfortably that nothing like that will happen here. I replied that there is a super volcano in Yellowstone Park and if it blows we are all dead. His face went white, tears welled up and he asked, "So we are all going to die? When is this going to happen?" I assured him that we will all die eventually and that if it blows in our lifetime it will be because it was supposed to happen that way. I don't know if or when it will happen but we can't be smug about our existence. He had to leave the room. I knew he bee-lined for the bathroom so he could cry. I reminded him when he came back that he is a strong spirit and was saved for this day not so he could have a life of ease but so he could be a witness and a laborer. 


This morning we watched a couple of videos on the tsunami and he asked, "What if I was serving my mission there when that happened?" I reminded him that his Uncle Ron did serve his mission there and that as of yesterday not all of the missionaries had been accounted for but they were being looked for." He reminded me that he knew that's where Ron served and that he hoped people were looking. No tears. 


I really do feel so much gratitude this day. Two of the guys Matt went to test with in Virginia from TEEX, didn't make it. One was a Weapons Instructor for their parent company. Incredible. I can only pray that I will match this great plan that our Father in Heaven has for us. Through the Atonement, I will be given the enabling power to do all things.