What's your gift?

Check out this video on Gifts

I like to fight. No really. I persistently resist/fight what I know in the deepest parts of my soul to be true. I fight it if it's something that I know I have to do but don't really want to do. It's what happens when I am in labor. I try negotiating to get out of birthing a baby. No joke. The harder the contractions the more desperate I became. How can I get out of this? It's a necessary process, one that really is not negotiable. However, the method of birthing is negotiable. Ha! Bring on the epidural. That's sticky too because I have seen that needle and it sends me into full on hypertensive panic. Ugh! Just close the eyes, bend over the belly and control the breathing.

Before I returned to college I fought it. We came to Ricks College for Matt to get his degree, not me. College was uncomfortable and I convinced myself that it wasn't meant for me, even though my patriarchal blessing talks about it. It took a clear manifestation that not only was I going back to college but I would also become a nurse. Okie Dokie. So I did. I and my family (Thank you esp Matt and my parents) for helping me do it. It's not easy going to nursing school while working, having four kids, one of which was birthed 4 weeks before starting and being in a primary presidency.

A couple of months ago I was crying to my parents about how I felt unrest, unease in my life. I speculated if it was because I was supposed to get my Masters. But I did not want to do it. I know what it takes. Today as I job searched and talked with a recruiter, I did something else. I applied to a Masters program. Um, didn't have that on my to do list today.

Here's what I texted to Matt: "I just applied for a Masters program"
His response: "What!"
Me: "Yep. Just got off the phone with the recruiter. Paid the application fee and will visit with the nursing specialist on Tuesday. I can't deny any longer that I am meant to do more."

Matt is funny. He seems to think I am a smarty pants. He's been saying to me for years that I need to get my Masters so I can teach full-time. He's talked to some of my patients and students from the RN program at BYU-I and feels that their comments about me confirm what he already knew. I'm not trying to say I'm a superstar but just that I have to own the gifts that I've been given. I never appreciated what was in me but my good husband did. Love him.

So on Tuesday I will discuss my future in a Masters program with a mentor. Time to put my thinking cap on a little tighter. I will let you know how it goes. Until then, enjoy this video on gifts that I put at the beginning of the post. What's your gift?